Welcome to the world of Dungeons & Dragons!


What follows is a summary of the Dungeons & Dragons campaign that wrapped up last night. It is nerdity at its most rampant.

In a world of sidearms, steam-powered automatons, and arcane magicks, an unlikely band of adventurers assembles. Some seek glory, others only fortune. All trade their talent for financial reward.

One is a gun-slinging sellsword, as deadly as she is beautiful. Another deals death through crossbow bolts and skillfully woven spells with equal proficiency. The third member of the party is a mysterious, javelin-wielding foreigner, hailing from lands far to the exotic east. Finally, there is the dwarven rogue, shady, untrustworthy and just as dangerous as his colleagues.

Originally hired to locate several extra-dimensional creatures, the party quickly becomes involved in a quest to locate a cursed sword known as the Witch’s Fire. Though the blade is eventually located and wrested from the grip of two sorcerors who have designs upon it, the heroes are unable to prevent the escape of either sorceror. To make matters worse, the deposed king – having spent the last decade in exile gathering forces to retake the throne – has resurfaced and is marched his armies on the city of Corvis.

Agents of the would-be usurper arrive in the city and take control of the local government and military. These agents — known as inquisitors — ferret out and destroy nearly every sorceror within Corvis’ walls. Soon, the exiled king’s armies will march on the city and take complete control. Once fortified behind the formidable walls, it will be nigh impossible to dislodge them. From Corvis, the former king plans to mount a campaign to conquer the entire kingdom.

Our heroes find themselves without options, and are forced to join forces with one the sorceress they recently opposed. Forming an alliance and an uneasy truce, the heroes turn the Witch’s Fire over to the sorceress. The sorceress raises an army of undead and our heroes — now accompanied by a noble and devout cleric — infiltrate the city to sabotage several key armaments and lookout points.

The armies converge on the city and a glorious battle ensues, the tide turning first in favor of the forces of good, and then against them. Ultimately, the evil king is defeated and his armies routed. The sorceress, having fulfilled her portion of the bargain and finally realizing the danger the Witch’s Fire represents, makes ready to destroy the accursed blade. The heroic sellsword, realizing that the sword is capable of causing great havoc at the moment of its destruction, manages to convince the sorceress to leave the Witch’s Fire intact. The sorceress, barely more than a girl, seems to fall apart and the sellsword attempts to console her.

Unbeknownst to his companions, the dwarven rogue has succumbed to the allure of the evil Witch’s Fire. In the confusion following the heated battle and emotional collapse of the sorceress he absconds with the cursed sword. Only moments before, the rogue had revealed his hole card — a giant magical fly — in an attempt to save the sellsword from a potentially deadly fall. Now, in an act of unconscionable betrayal, he mounts the enchanted beast and flees, the Witch’s Fire clutched tightly in his hands. Despite their best efforts, the party is unable to prevent the turncoat from escaping. Some vow to track the vile dwarf to the edge of the world and retrieve the Witch’s Fire, while others decide their own destinies lie along different paths. Though a new enemy has arisen, a great evil has been vanquished and the kingdom spared — for the moment — from the grip of a tyrannical overlord.

6 responses to “Welcome to the world of Dungeons & Dragons!”

  1. Bridj Avatar

    I want to hear more about the “noble and devout cleric”. He was AWESOME!

  2. KJToo Avatar

    Well, he certainly dished out some damage during the infiltration of Corvis. Neither Scorn nor human could withstand the bone-shattering blows from the cleric’s +3 warhammer.

  3. Bridj Avatar

    He’s my hero.

  4. Miscellaneous G Avatar
    Miscellaneous G

    Sounds like the scoundrel was seduced by the power of the dark side.

  5. KJToo Avatar

    The dwarven rogue was a scoundrel, of that there can be no doubt. His motives for stealing the Witch’s Fire will likely remain a mystery forever. It may be that the evil blade called to him, promising power and wealth beyond his wildest dreams. Then again, perhaps he simply realized the potential profit to be gained by auctioning the sword to the highest bidder. Though less likely, it is also possible that he did not feel that the heroes of Corvis nor any of their advisors were capable of properly disposing of the accursed weapon and so he took it upon himself to shoulder that burden, assured of the fact that he alone could bear it.

    Whatever the case, his acts will be the stuff of legend for years to come. In less savory circles, he will be seen as an accomplished criminal and in the minds of those who consider themselves right and just he will be cursed and looked down upon. To some, he will be an idol, to others a nemesis. He has made his mark in the history of the Iron Kingdoms, no matter where the Witch’s Fire ultimately rests.

  6. Thagglives Avatar

    Well written, if bizarre. Apparantly you escaped childhood with your imagination intact and manage to exercise it regularly.

    I see a bit of Drunkle Matt’s gift of embellishment. If not filed under Nerd, and forewarned of the D & D underpinnings it would make a good standalone short.

    I don’t see myself as a convert to the fantasy game genre anytime soon, but when the moon is full, the campfire lit and stars out (perhaps even a light fog or partial cloudcover) I would be among those listening to the Bards tales.

    Keep it up.

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