‘Rents in the hizzie!

Sometimes, MapQuest is not your friend. A couple of years ago, Laura and I wound up on the wrong side of Ravenna (?) looking for a street that didn’t exist (in that location) thanks to MapQuest. We eventually found our way to the proper area, but only after much driving around and unpleasant muttering.

MapQuest steered my parents toward Columbus yesterday, and though they realized the error quite quickly it threw them for quite the loop. I understand there was some unpleasant muttering before they stopped and called me to lead them the rest of the way to Casa Johnson. Fortunately, they’d managed to get pretty close and I knew right where they were.

So they didn’t have to spend the night in a Denny’s parking lot.

Mom’s birthday is today. She’s old enough to be my mother, and I’ll leave it at that. On Sunday, she’ll be seeing Neil Diamond in concert for the first time. Dad is going, too, though I understand that he’s been telling people that mom will “buy him a ticket when [they] get there.” Not so. Both tickets have been sitting in an envelope on Laura’s desk for a month or so.

Though both my mother and my mother-in-law (who has seen Mr. Diamond in concert multiple times) are fans, I don’t think the latter has ever played her Diamond CDs at a volume severe enough to shift tectonic plates. In 1993, “Brother Love’s Travelling Salvation Show” was responsible for southern Ontario and northern Upper Michigan drifting apart by no less than 3 inches (7.62 cm). ((As of this writing, the 1986 earthquake that rocked northeast Ohio has not been officially attributed to “America,” a Neil Diamond song of which my mother-in-law is particularly fond. Nonetheless, there are unconfirmed rumors that the epicenter of the quake coincided with the location of the Sperry residence.))

Last night, we watched Meet the Fockers, which proved to be quite entertaining and apparently skated in beneath dad’s Bullshit Threshhold (apart from the ending, which he thought was somewhat stupid). I was quite amused at the idea of a yappy little dog being flushed down a chemical toilet. PETA and the SPCA might feel otherwise.

In other news, work is work today. I hope this doesn’t signal the start of an unpleasant trend.