It’s [cl/sl]obberin’ time!

Fantastic Four (Xbox)Fantastic Four (Xbox)

The new Fantastic Four Xbox game had two things going for it that the recently-released Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction game did not:

  1. It has a cooperative multiplayer mode.
  2. Blockbuster had it in stock last night.

Miscellaneous G™ and I played for about two hours last night and it appears to be a decent game. There are some silly camera angle problems that developers (of any video game, really) should have been able to eliminate by now, and we ran into a couple of areas where characters became unexpectedly stuck or unable to move without falling to their death. Oh, and the voice acting is consistently dreadful throughout. Sometimes having the cast of the movie upon which your video game is based doing the voices for their characters isn’t necessarily a good thing, I guess. Still, the execution of the various powers works well and the game is about as entertaining as most other multiplayer co-op beat-’em-ups I’ve played. Whether the single player game will be up to par remains to be seen.

On a mostly unrelated topic, it turns out that my wife is still a nerd. I know that there are one or two people on the planet who don’t frequent the forums at KJToo.com, so I’ll share her haiku triad here:

Kris has hit the mark:
His spawn is in my belly.
(Pass the ginger ale.)

What chance does it have?
With our genes, (s)he’ll doubtless be
Blind, blond(e), and nerdy.

O, how life will change!
Soon, no more sleeping til noon…
And no more Xbox.

Her dire predictions of an Xbox-less existence will not come to pass. They cannot come to pass! I’m going to buy one of those mini controllers for Baby Johnson. S/he’ll be playing Soul Caliber II before s/he’s off the teat!

6 thoughts on “It’s [cl/sl]obberin’ time!”

  1. “Her dire predictions of an Xbox-less existence will not come to pass. They cannot come to pass!”

    Gotta be careful with those ‘flat-ass’ statements; could come back to bite you!

    “…it turns out that my wife is still a nerd…” Ah, yes – maybe. But a great sense of humor!

    The Haiku COULD have read:

    O, how life WILL change!
    Barkin’ orders, kickin’ ass,
    Xbox in the trash.

    You wanna encourage that sense of humor…

  2. “…it turns out that my wife is still a nerd…” Ah, yes – maybe. But a great sense of humor!

    If I gave the impression that my wife being a nerd was a Bad Thing, I apologize. I’m extremely pleased with her nerdiness.

    Gotta be careful with those ‘flat-ass’ statements; could come back to bite you!

    I’m not familiar with the concept of ‘flat-ass’ statements. Could you elaborate?

    O, how life WILL change!
    Barkin’ orders, kickin’ ass,
    Xbox in the trash.

    You’re not helping.

  3. Flat-ass statement: “It shall be so”; your ‘will not’ statement as if to say, ‘it is written’.

    Ex.: ‘I would NEVER do xyz’. Personal example: Before I moved into my current house three yrs. ago, we were having dinner with friends who were wondering if we planned on moving. My response: “It’ll be a cold day in hell before I move within the next 45 days!” Within 45 days, I was signing the contract on the new house, gazing in a stupor, wondering what I had just done. Bit by my own flat-ass statement.

  4. “It’ll be a cold day […] 45 days” seems like a very strange thing to say. How did you arrive at 45 days?

    My statement was less “flat-ass” and more “Gandalf vs. The Balrog at The Bridge of Khazad-Dûm.” Maybe I should have struck my staff against the floor for emphasis.

  5. It was 45 days ’til the end of July on the year we moved. I thought there was no way on God’s green earth that we would move by the end of July. I was STILL thinking that even as I was unpacking my ‘accumulated wealth’ into my new house.

    “Maybe I should have struck my staff against the floor for emphasis. “

    Numbers 20:9-13
    “So Moses took the staff from the LORD’s presence, just as he commanded him. He and Aaron gathered the assembly together in front of the rock and Moses said to them, “Listen, you rebels, must we bring you water out of this rock?” Then Moses raised his arm and struck the rock twice with his staff. Water gushed out, and the community and their livestock drank.
    But the LORD said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them.”
    These were the waters of Meribah, where the Israelites quarreled with the LORD and where he showed himself holy among them. “

    Careful with that staff! Moses missed out on the promised land ‘cuz of his angry staff work.

  6. Careful with that staff! Moses missed out on the promised land ‘cuz of his angry staff work.

    Well, it kinda messed up Gandalf, too. He and the Balrog took a swan dive off the bridge and the wizard was presumed dead. Still, he came back and eventually took the last boat out of Middle Earth to the Gray Havens. I guess he made it to his “promised land” after all.

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