Nonade.

Today marks the ninth anniversary of the day Laura Sperry foolishly answered in the affirmative when Pastor Loxterman asked if she’d have me as her husband. This lapse in judgement was well-documented and observed by dozens of people who had been invited to bear witness to her folly.

Since then, Laura has been my supplicant companion, eagerly ensuring that my every husbandly whim becomes reality. While she enjoys the trappings of her office, she remains cognizant of her duties as my wife, and constantly strives to conform to the ideals I have set forth. Ever aware of my lofty expectations, she comports herself in a suitably obiesant manner, never questioning my authority or judgment. She is affectionate when appropriate, and responds to my affections in a manner which pleases me. She is probably laughing her head off as she reads this.

Honestly, I couldn’t get properly dressed in the morning if Laura wasn’t there to organize my wardrobe. I don’t know where I’d be if she hadn’t stuck her nose where it so clearly didn’t belong twelve years ago (thus thrusting herself uninvited into my life), but I’m thankful that she decided to take the initiative and contact the guy who was so ineptly hitting on her friend. My life is richer for the intrusion.

Happy Anniversary to us.

7 thoughts on “Nonade.”

  1. Way to hit niner. Kris, it would seem that you have a firm grasp on … and … uh, like I was saying, congratulations!!

    I’m curious; did you go with the traditional 9th year anniv. gift (pottery/willow), or modern (leather)?

  2. Congratulations to you both on your anniversary. Hope you see many more to come. To be honest, I thought for sure she would have built up a tolerance to the sodium pentathol by now.

    It must be love. Or something like that….

  3. Today marks the ninth anniversary of the day Laura Sperry foolishly answered in the affirmative when Pastor Loxterman asked if she’d have me as her husband. This lapse in judgement was well-documented and observed by dozens of people who had been invited to bear witness to her folly.

    First: Congratulations (one day late) from the whole famn damily!
    Second: Bullsh*t. I like it anyway.

    When asked how I’ve been able to stay married so long to My Favorite Canadian (half of your life!), I normally tell them I feel lucky, nay a bit unworthy to have her. MFC has been known to express similar sentiments herself about marriage.

    Recently I had an epiphany. The secret to a good marriage must lie in a healthy dose of low self-esteem in both marriage partners.

    It appears at least you are one so blessed. Hats off to another 9 years of wedded bliss.

  4. Many thanks to all the congratulators. Laura and I are at a very exciting point in our marriage, what with my young apprentice scheduled to arrive in January, and we’re both looking forward to this new adventure even as we pause to look back at the last nine years.

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