NaNoWriMo: An Aside

Does anyone else find it interesting that ABC waited until the latter half of the month to report on NaNoWriMo? Wouldn’t it be beneficial to publish such a report sometime in October to give readers an opportunity to participate in NaNoWriMo themselves? Of course it would, which is exactly why ABC waited until 17 November. They’re hoping you’ll forget all about NaNoWriMo between now and 01 November 2006.

That’s right, ABC doesn’t want you to participate in NaNoWriMo. Why? Well, let’s think about that for a minute. NaNoWriMo is just the sort of story with which news organizations prefer to end their broadcasts. After twenty or fifty minutes of stories about natural disaster, war, corrupt governments and the atrocity of the week, it’s nice to be able to close with a piece on pets helping the elderly or a woman who knits mittens for the homeless. So you’d think NaNoWriMo — with its thousands of aspiring novelists and fund-raising campaign to build libraries in third-world countries — would be a golden nugget of human-interest For most media outlets, that’s exactly what it is.

But not for ABC. See, ABC is owned by the Walt Disney Corporation, and Disney has a vested interest in burying NaNoWriMo. Just so there’s no confusion, let me make it perfectly clear: the House of Mouse wants every single one of NaNoWriMo’s 62,000 participants this year to fall flat on their faces. The nearly 400 million words already written by WriMos across the globe represent a significant danger to Disney’s bottom line, especially in foreign markets, where Disney has had less than phenomenal success.

How? To understand that, you need to know something about the recent history of the Walt Disney Corporation. In the spring of 1994, Michael Eisner (CEO of Disney at the time) covertly met with U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno on four separate occasions. Recently, a CIA investigation recovered documents connected to Eisner’s meetings with Reno, and the specifics of the meetings are just now being made public. One of the documents, signed by both Eisner and Reno, is an agreement to… hell, I don’t know. I’m just making shit up to avoid writing my novel.

7 thoughts on “NaNoWriMo: An Aside”

  1. Jahnoth said:

    You should just add this stuff to your wordcount, man. Really!

    It’s 377 words, which is probably more than I wrote at Panera this evening.

  2. Robert Ellis said:

    Hey, that’s quite a story! Maybe you could write that novel for NaNo next year.

    There was a certain amount of political intrigue in last year’s attempt at NaNo, and I did receive suggestions that I do a “meta” novel this year (in which I tell the fictionalized tale of a writer attempting to complete a novel in 30 days). Perhaps I ought to combine the two and tell the tale of the writer whose efforts are constantly being thwarted by the agents of a conspiracy that reaches into both the federal government and the entertainment industry (or maybe just corporate America). Though his identity is stolen (or perhaps deleted) and he is being pursued by dark-suited men driving black SUVs, the would-be author still finds the time to crank out 1,667 words a day throughout the entire month.

    That would sure make any excuse I come up with for not writing every day seem lame.

  3. JamWoman said:

    Damn you! I thought that you were being serious! I fell for it hook, line, and sinker, you stinker!

    It was totally worth the effort.

  4. Per your linked article:

    From its humble beginnings with 21 participants and six finishers (or “winners” in NaNoWriMo parlance) the contest has grown exponentially, to 42,000 participants and just shy of 6,000 winners last year.

    “Winners” in quotes? Has it gotten to the point where the only acceptable winners are in sports? Because by definition the rest become losers, and would suffer untold harm to their self-esteem? I wonder if she writes/reports for NPR on the side.

    *Rant OFF*

    Oh, at the thought of Eisner and Reno having a private meeting, I shudder.

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