KJToo

The latest episode of The Round Table features listener feedback, special guests James and Jessica Peveler, tips for incorporating “The Belly of the Whale” into roleplaying games, and a lively, multi-faceted discussion on when and if player characters should be allowed to die. Also on deck: way too many chupacabra references.

Normally, Chris Miller and I use a Samson C01U condenser microphone on Chris’ Windows XP laptop. In episode 2.9, we were using the microphone built in to Chris’ new MacBook, and it sounds pretty damn good.

I don’t know what sort of equipment Master Misfit Mick Bradley is using, but our virtual round table is made possible by Skype. Mick and Chris both record the show, just in case there is an audio problem in either Louisville (Mick’s home base) or Eastlake (site of Chris’ tricked out studio). Mick typically takes a couple of days to edit the show, removing some (but not all, else my voice would never be heard) extraneous crap, mixing in the musical cues, promos and bumpers. This particular show was recorded Friday evening and released Monday morning.

Head on over to The Harping Monkey and grab episode 2.9, if it’s not already in your podcatcher. While you’re at it, grab episode 2.8, which Mick and Chris recorded while I was on vacation. They cover a lot of stuff, but I really wish I’d been able to participate in their discussion of X-Men: The Last Stand.

Underworld: Evolution (2006)

Starring Kate Beckinsale, Scott Speedman, Tony Curran, Shane Brolly, Sir Derek Jacobi, Stephen Mackintosh, Zita Görög, Brian Steele, Sophie Myles and Davy Jones

Directed by Len Wiseman

I wasn’t a big fan of Underworld, but I rented Underworld: Evolution over the weekend. I had every intention of writing a review, but then some jackhole hacked my forum and I got distracted.

You might ask yourself why I would rent a sequel to a movie I didn’t like. Two reasons really:

1. I’d heard from several sources that the sequel was superior to the original.
2. I believe that eventually a brilliant sequel to a movie that sucked will counter all the sucky sequels to brilliant movies, bringing balance to the Force.

As the sequel had been held up as superior to the original, I suppose it is necessary to compare the two. However, I want to stay away from phrases like “Underworld: Evolution was/wasn’t as good as Underworld” because they imply that Underworld was measurably good. The only comparison I will make is that both Underworld and Underworld: Evolution failed to meet my expectations. The second only comparison I will make is the number of partial decapitations, which I believe is identical in both films.

I’m having a hard time quantifying why I didn’t like this movie. It has a lot of stuff that I normally enjoy, including leather-clad Beckinsalian vampires (okay, that one is pretty specific), lots of gunplay, Derek Jacobi, helicopters, explosions, werewolves, and ass-kicking. U:E also had something its predecessor did not: hot vampire-on-lycan action. Well, technically it’s hot vampire-on-vampire/lycan-hybrid action, but that sounds clunky.

So why didn’t I like it? Well, Michael (the aforementioned vampire/lycan hybrid) and Selene (the aforementioned leather-clad Beckinsalian vampire) still have zero chemistry. I shouldn’t have to be told that these characters love each other, it should be obvious from their interactions, and (hot vampire-on-vampire/lycan-hybrid action notwithstanding) it isn’t. I’ve loved peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with more passion than Michael loves Selene (hot geek-on-PBJ action sold separately)!

Then there’s Michael (who looks like he really, really needs to be the gentle-yet-dangerous frontman for an almost-metal alternative group). He’s supposed to be this uber-powerful cross between vampires and werewolves, but mostly what he does is get his ass kicked until the very end of the movie, when he finally grows a pair and [SPOILER REDACTED].

Finally, there’s this nagging feeling I had at the back of my head that continuity had taken a vacation between Underworld and Underworld: Evolution. Sadly, I can’t put my finger on it and I’m afraid that only be watching both movies again will I be able to either identify the discontinuity or dispel the nagging demon. I’m not sure it’s worth the trouble.

If you’re a member of the KJToo Forums, you may have noticed that they are all kinds of gone. The forums were hacked early this morning so I removed the subdomain. I’ll be installing new (and hopefully more secure) forum software sometime this week, but I’m not sure when I’ll be able to get around to it.

One of the things I’m going to miss when Kyle gets a little older is him thinking I’m funny just because I think I’m funny.

Date: Wed, 14 Jun 2006 08:36:42
From: Woot
To: KJToo
Subject: Woot Order Tracking Number

Kris Johnson,

Your order for 1 RCA 8 Device Backlit LCD Learning Universal Remote on 06/08/2006 has been recently shipped via FEDEX Ground.

Your tracking number is: xxxxxxxxxxx1385.

Your order may contain multiple packages that arrive on different days. If you don’t receive your entire order at the same time, please wait a couple of days after you receive your first package before contacting us at service@woot.com.

For future reference, your order number is: xxxxx759.

Please check out the Product Forum at the following link:
[Link Removed]

From,
Your friendly neighborhood Wootbot

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Date: Mon, 19 Jun 2006 14:44:45
To: Woot Customer Service
From: Kris Johnson
Subject: Order No. xxxxx759

Hello,

I have been checking the FedEx website to track my recent Woot order (#xxxxx759) for almost a week, and the status has not changed from “Package data transmitted to FedEx” since 13 June. The package was estimated to arrive on Friday, 16 June, but it has not arrived and the FedEx status has not changed.

Please advise me as to the actual status of my order.

Thank you.

Kris Johnson

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Date: Wed, 21 Jun 2006 16:17:02
From: Kris Johnson
To: Woot Customer Service
Subject: Fwd: Order No. xxxxx759

Hello,

Two long days have passed since my initial inquiry as to the status of my order (xxxxx759), and the FedEx website - which I checked only moments ago - still indicates that my RCA 8-device remote control is in Carrollton, TX. During those two days, my wife and I have had little choice but to rely on separate remote controls to wirelessly bend the various audio/video components that comprise our home theater system (which resides not in Carrollton, TX but Willoughby, OH) to our whims.

I had hoped that my initial inquiry would at least have resulted in a response, even if it was simply to say, “We are listening and concerned about your experience as a Woot.com customer.” Alas, I have received no such communication, so I must assume that no one is listening and/or concerned.

It will be most unfortunate if I have to post a lengthy (yet eloquent and amusing) rant in my personal blog, detailing my very one-sided experience thus far with your organization. I can assure you that at least three people - one of whom is not related to me by blood or marriage - read said blog on a regular basis, so you must ask yourself if you are prepared to deal with that kind of negative publicity. I suspect that you can ill-afford to be painted as the heartless, uncaring, monolithic corporation in this case, so you may wish to at least acknowledge that my attempts at electronic communication are being received.

Yours in eroding patience,

Kris Johnson

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Date: Wed, 21 Jun 2006 16:20:40
From: “Woot : Service”
To: Kris Johnson
Subject: RE: Order No. xxxxx759

I can go ahead and refund you for that order if you like, as im not sure what is going on with it. Im sorry that i have no good info for you, just being random cs employee #3, i really wish i had more to tell you : /

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Date: Wed, 21 Jun 2006 16:33:21
From: Kris Johnson
To: Woot Customer Service
Subject: RE: Order No. xxxxx759

Random CS Employee #3,

Although a refund would certainly resolve the issue of me paying for a remote control that I have not yet received, I would much rather actually receive the remote. Perhaps you could make a call to Random Shipping Employee #7 to inquire as to whether they can provide you with information about the remote beyond what is available on the FedEx website (which seems to indicate that the package containing the remote was never actually picked up by FedEx). Perhaps, to stretch the hypothetical even further, Random Shipping Employee #7 could contact FedEx on behalf of Woot.com and a customer whose satisfaction can still be salvaged.

If such extreme measures are beyond your capacity, then by all means refund my order.

Yours in potential gratitude,

Kris Johnson

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Date: Wed, 21 Jun 2006 16:49:56
From: Woot Customer Service
To: KJToo
Subject: Your order for RCA 8 Device Backlit LCD Learning Universal Remote

KJToo,

Order number xxxxx759

Our records show that you ordered the RCA 8 Device Backlit LCD Learning Universal Remote during the woot-off on June 8. After shipping other woot-off orders, we discovered that we were missing a large part of the shipment from RCA . Unfortunately, your order was one of the last ones that was processed and we don’t have any more remotes to ship. We are crediting your credit card for the purchase price and are issuing a free shipping coupon code “[Code Withheld]” for use on a future order. We apologize for the inconvenience and appreciate your continued patronage.

Woot.com