Adstuff: Old Spice

Contrary to popular belief, TiVo has not completely eradicated television advertising in the International House of Johnson. Every once in a while, we neglect to fast-forward through advertising blocks when watching a recorded program; occasionally, we watch live television, ads and all.

A couple of nights ago, a new Old Spice commercial caught my eye, and I did something almost unheard of: I rewound to watch the ad again. And again.

The ad begins in a locker room, where a well-built, shirtless fellow has a confession to make:

I used to think it didn’t matter what deodorant I chose. Dumb.

What follows is a side-by-side comparison of Old Spice and another brand of deodorant. Immediately after the Old Spice is applied to the skin, hair sprouts up in its wake, confirming that Old Spice is, indeed, manly.

Shirtless Fellow continues to expound upon the virtues of Old Spice:

Old Spice performs in real man situations, like basketball, recon and Frenching.

Aw, yeah. Now Ol’ Shirtless is speaking my language; but he’s not quite done:

Try Old Spice, and if you still don’t think it’s awesome, call 1-800-PROVE-IT and they’ll buy you a stick of something that smells like wildflowers and shame.

I don’t know what shame smells like, but I know what Old Spice smells like: my dad. There’s nothing wrong with the way my dad smells; in fact, the scent of Old Spice always reminds me of getting ready to go out with my entire family when I was a young boy. I like the scent, but I don’t wear it.

See, I’ve been a Mitchum man for going on ten years. Robert Mitchum may have had nothing to do with Mitchum deodorant and anti-perspirant, but I firmly believe that his essence makes my deodorant “so effective [I] could skip a day”. I also live in fear that if I should so much as consider switching to another brand, Robert Mitchum would kick my ass from beyond the grave.

So kudos to Old Spice for making me laugh. Unfortunately, even your sweaty, shirtless spokesman isn’t enough to make me tempt the wrath of Robert Mitchum. Better luck next time.

8 thoughts on “Adstuff: Old Spice”

  1. a. I think all Dads wear/wore Old Spice. I know mine did.

    b. When I saw the title of your post I thought you were going to be talking about the Bruce Campbell Old Spice commercial that has been playing the last couple of weeks. Very funny commercial as well.

  2. [Comment ID #7685 Will Be Quoted Here]

    I saw the Bruce Campbell Old Spice ad on YouTube last night when I was looking for the “manly” ad. It reminds me that I need to pick up a copy of How to Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way.

  3. Old Spice is all about surfing and Carmina Burana as far as I’m concerned. Please don’t tell me it isn’t 1977 anymore!

  4. [Comment ID #7714 Will Be Quoted Here]

    I didn’t have regular access to a television in 1977 (or 1978 through about 1985, for that matter), so I don’t associate Old Spice with any particular music or imagery. Laura tells me that she (who did have regular access to a television in her youth) doesn’t associate Old Spice with surfing or Carmina Burana, either.

  5. [Comment ID #7782 Will Be Quoted Here]

    I saw the ad on YouTube, and Bruce does, indeed, exude awesomeness.

    I had the opportunity to see Mr. Campbell speak at Kent State University a few years ago. When he was interacting with the audience, it was a lot of fun. When he was clearly just reading an essay, it was a little lackluster.

  6. *breathing normally again*

    I must say, I really enjoyed the line ending in “…a stick of something that smells like wildflowers and shame.”

    So, just to clarify; there’s a zombie Robert Mitchum stalking you, making sure you’re taking care of your personal hygiene the Mitchum way?


    *laughing fit begins again*

  7. [Comment ID #7789 Will Be Quoted Here]

    When I imagine Robert Mitchum returning from the grave to kick my ass, he’s not a zombie. If you’ve ever seen Ghost, imagine Mitchum in the Patrick Swayze role.

    Wow. That would be awesome. No more crying or whining or erotic pottery (sorry, Righteous Brothers), just straight-up ass kicking with a side of droop-eyed sarcasm.

    Anyway, that’s the Mitchum whose manly essence keeps me dry and odorless, and it is his unearthly, insubstantial spirit that will do to me what Patrick Swayze could only do to a penny should I ever switch deodorants.

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