Moviestuff: Shatner’s Last Gasp

My final shipment from the William Shatner DVD Club arrived in the mail today. Included were five movies, bringing the total number of DVDs I received since joining the club to fourteen. And so, as I bid the William Shatner DVD Club a fond farewell, here’s a list of all the movies I received. The five that came in the mail today are listed first, the rest are in random order.

  1. Soulkeeper (2001). There just aren’t enough movies with both demons and Robert Davi; at least I’ve got this one.
  2. Dragon Storm (2004). I know Gimli wasn’t as popular as Legolas, but could John Rhys-Davies have possibly parlayed his Lord of the Rings experience into something worse than Dragon Storm? Yes; it’s called Chupacabra: Dark Seas.
  3. King of the Ants (2003). There were two movies released in 2003 with the title King of the Ants. This is the other one. Featuring George Wendt (Cheers) as Duke Wayne, the cowboy electrician. Oh, and there’s a Baldwin. Which Baldwin? One of the non-Alec Baldwins. Nuff said.
  4. Black Cadillac (2003). The disc art on this one screams “Christine“, but will it be the tale of a demon-possessed Escalade or road rage taken to the extreme a la Spielberg’s The Duel?
  5. Epoch (2000). I know I saw this movie on SciFi a couple of years ago. All I remember is a big, floating alien rock. And not the good kind, either.
  6. The Attic Expeditions (2001). Seth Green is sentenced to a mental hospital where he is experimented on by Jeffrey Combs. Life can start imitating art any time now.
  7. Ginger Snaps (2000). Lycanthropy as metaphor for puberty. Your body is going to start to change in ways that you may not understand. On the other hand, you’ll be able to lick your own crotch.
  8. Close Your Eyes (2002) A decent supernatural thriller about a hypnotherapist on the trail of a serial killer. I’m going to count backwards from ten; when I reach one, you will no longer be lying on a table with half of your guts torn out.
  9. Thomas in Love (2000). A French film about an agoraphobic who hasn’t left his apartment in eight years and communicates with the outside world via videophone. Please don’t tilt the camera down any further, Thomas.
  10. Immortel (2004) Odd story about Horus, the hawk-headed Egyptian god parking his floating pyramid over New York City in 2095. Odd story, odd visuals, odd everything.
  11. it2i2 (2006). Written, directed by and starring Robert Llewellyn (Red Dwarf), it2i2 was described by the London Times as “The DaVinci Code meets The Matrix, only with a lower budget.” They certainly got the part about the low budget right.
  12. Falcon Down (2000). The only William Shatner DVD Club title in which the man himself makes an appearance. It’s Firefox meets Behind Enemy Lines, only with a lower budget.
  13. The Lathe of Heaven (1980) By most accounts this version is superior to the 2002 made-for-TV remake. It’s The Woodwright’s Shop meets The Matrix, only with… okay, no, it’s not.
  14. Wolves of Wall Street (2002). Eric Roberts is the head of a cutthroat Wall Street trading firm. You can tell it’s Wall Street because every other scene transition is a montage of “Wall Street” street signs. The members of the firm are all werewolves, if the nonstop barrage of ever-so-subtle double entendre is any indication. I haven’t made it all the way through this one yet.