KJToo

It’s been a while since I posted a 5 O’clock Shadow picture. This one is from a week ago and it was probably closer to 7 o’clock. Over my right shoulder you can see Optimus Prime rolling southbound on I-271. Over my left shoulder, a minivan cruises north, toward I-90.

Minivans are neither Autobots nor Decepticons; they — along with station wagons and most mid-size sedans — belong to a separate faction of Transformers known as the Domesticons. Rather than searching for the AllSpark and/or trying to utterly destroy their age-old enemies, the Domesticons concern themselves with making sure the kids get to harp practice, hauling fifteen bags of red mulch home from the WalMart Garden Center, and changing their oil every 3,000 miles.

When the MVoD transforms, it is into a giant robot named IdiotLight. For a variety of reasons, I have forbidden him to assume robot form. Ever.

Posted June 28, 2007 Comments(3)

I’m back in good graces with my local library, so I’ve been a multimedia fiend for the past couple of weeks. Here’s a list of the audio, video and printified goodness that I’ve enjoyed recently or will be enjoying shortly:

• Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman. Read by Lenny Henry. Gaiman’s follow up to American Gods focuses on African and West Indian deities. Anansi Boys has a much more sympathetic main character (Fat Charlie), and the world felt much more fleshed out than the stark landscapes of American Gods. Top-notch narration by British comedian Lenny Henry adds even more flavor to the rich story.
• Nature Girl by Carl Hiaasen. Read by Lee Adams. I’m a little over halfway through this quirky tale of lust, revenge and the general decline of basic civility, but I’m enjoying it quite a lot. The main character is a bit of a nutjob, which makes her difficult to sympathize with at times.
• Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clarke. Read by Simon Prebble. This will take a good chunk of time to get through, and it doesn’t help that it was Laura, not me, who checked it out of the library. I haven’t started listening to Jonathan Strange just yet; I’ll begin as soon as I finish Nature Girl, if Laura will let me.
• M:I:III, also known as Mission: Impossible III, starring the actor formerly known as Mr. Nicole Kidman. I heard rumors that Tom’s talkshow antics really hurt this movie’s box office performance. I’d dismiss those rumors as whiny excuse-making, except for one thing: M:I:III is the best of the series. It’s got tons of over-the-top action, lots of super-cool spy gadgetry, and Philip Seymour Hoffman makes a damn good villain. I only wish I’d had the option to get a widescreen copy, as the pan-and-scan on the fullscreen version is practically painful at times.
• The first season of Sledge Hammer! starring David Rasche. Sometimes the things that we thought were funny and cool two decades ago should be relegated to fond memories and not revisited on DVD. Sledge Hammer! doesn’t seem anywhere near as funny today as I remember it being. I got a few chuckles out of it, but the show feels incredibly dated today.
• Date Movie starring Alyson Hannigan. Date Movie — along with its even more inane cousin, Epic Movie — are proof-positive that the writers (or some subset of the writers) of Scary Movie have shot their collective wad. Alyson Hannigan barely (and I do mean barely) makes this unfunny parody worth watching.
• Smokin’ Aces starring a whole bunch of folks.
• Soon I Will Be Invincible by Austin Grossman. The only ink-and-paper title on the list. I’m only a few pages into this tale of heroes and villains of the super variety. I like what I’ve read so far.

Posted June 25, 2007 Comments(2)

Volcanicast is the latest podcast from Planet RetCon Radio, and it ventures where none of the other RetCon shows have gone before: reality. Volcanicast is a round table discussion of all the search terms classified as “volcanic” by Google Hot Trends in the past week; everything from celebrity arrests to phallic bivalves.

In the beginning, Volcanicast was hosted by Wesley & Bob, whose voices can also be heard on other fine Planet RetCon Radio productions, such as The Stargate Cafe and The Log of The Crimson Lein. Wesley was foolish enough to invite me to join in the current-eventy fun, so Episode 4 marks my first appearance.

A word of caution: Volcanicast is intended for mature audiences, which is somewhat ironic given the relative immaturity of the hosts.

Another word of caution: Although the topics discussed on Volcanicast are researched by the hosts before the show, the research is often half-assed at best. We may speak with an air of confidence and authority, but that’s usually just the booze talking.

• Visit the Volcanicast website.
• Download the show for the week ending 23 June 2007.
• Subscribe to the feed.

Posted June 25, 2007 Comments(0)

Today was the first annual Free RPG Day, during which nearly 300 hobby gaming stores across the United States gave away free role playing game quickstart rules and adventures modules to their customers. A handful of stores in the Cleveland area participated, including I’m Game, an excellent gaming store in the Great Northern Mall (about 45 minutes from the International House of Johnson).

I met J.J. “Working Man” Lanza and Victor “Tangent” Cantu (Fist Full of Comics and Games) at I’m Game to check out the free swag. There were a dozen or so different sets of quick-start rules and adventures up for grabs, including:

• Quick-start rules for White Wolf’s upcoming release, Changeling: The Lost.
• A preview of the science-fiction RPG “Septimus”, from West End Games.
• “Dungeonbattle Brooklyn”, an adventure for the Xcrawl campaign setting from Goodman Games.
• “Goblin Lake” a solitaire adventure for Tunnels & Trolls from Flying Buffalo.
• “The Pig, The Witch and Her Lover”, a Warhammer roleplaying adventure from Black Industries.

We also interviewed Wendy Kerschner, co-owner of I’m Game, and “Jeff Venture”, an employee and RPG-enthusiast who — after our interview — ran a demo of “Temple of Blood”, another freebie adventure from Goodman Games. The interview will be up on the Fist Full of Comics and Games website in the next few days, and will probably make an appearance in one of The Harping Monkey feeds, too.

Posted June 23, 2007 Comments(2)

I just witnessed what may be the dumbest bleep in the history of bleeps.

The show: Comedy Central Presents.

The comedienne: Megan Mooney.

The joke: Dad calls Megan and her sister “ladies”. “Thanks a lot, coach,” Megan says.

The bleep: “You just earned yourself another clipboard for Father’s Day, a-<bleep>.”

Now, I want to point out that Megan did not say “ass”; she said “a”. A-hole. She censored her own joke.

And they bleeped the “hole”.

Posted June 22, 2007 Comments(4)