It’s been a while since I posted a 5 O’clock Shadow picture. This one is from a week ago and it was probably closer to 7 o’clock. Over my right shoulder you can see Optimus Prime rolling southbound on I-271. Over my left shoulder, a minivan cruises north, toward I-90.
Minivans are neither Autobots nor Decepticons; they — along with station wagons and most mid-size sedans — belong to a separate faction of Transformers known as the Domesticons. Rather than searching for the AllSpark and/or trying to utterly destroy their age-old enemies, the Domesticons concern themselves with making sure the kids get to harp practice, hauling fifteen bags of red mulch home from the WalMart Garden Center, and changing their oil every 3,000 miles.
When the MVoD transforms, it is into a giant robot named IdiotLight. For a variety of reasons, I have forbidden him to assume robot form. Ever.