Ah, picturesque Mirkwood in the summer! Or perhaps that’s the Dark Forest near dear old Aragog’s lair?

“Hello, Mrs. Shelob, I’d like to talk to you for a few minutes about our Lord and Sav-AIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!”

Wow! EEEEEWWWWWWWWW… I must say that if I were to come across that web (and we all now that I am just unobservant enough to be the person who gets caught in it) I would problably no longer have to go to the bathroom!

Poop!

Three ultra-creepy spiders with bodies about the size of pennies have laid traps for me around my garage, including across the door. If I should disappear within the next couple days, tell my mother I’m sorry I forgot to drop off that bench she was asking about.

There are probably upwards of three or four dozed spiders of various sizes around the entry portal to the International House of Johnson. It is the curse of our dusk-to-dawn entry light, I expect.

I’ll be sure to pass the message on to your mother, along with “oh, and he said I could have all his stuff.”

I’m working on the guitar thing even now!

You are a better man than I. More motivated, at any rate.

Perhaps your guitar playing will either (1) lull the spiders to sleep or, (2) rock their spinnerets off.

I chalk all of this speculation up to not having enough coffee in your diet.

That’s one possibility. More than likely it’s due to me having both an irrational fear of and (perhaps equally irrational) fascination with spiders.