Foodstuff: On the Matter of Pie

How Not To Grow A Beard: Day 19
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I have been asked (and very politely, I might add) to expound upon the matter of pie and the relative worth of different varieties of the same. This dialog (and I name it so for it is my fervent hope that everyone who reads this will comment with their own pie preferences and philosophies) is not one to be undertaken lightly, nor would it be wise to begin an intercourse on the topic without first establishing some manner of boundaries and limitations to which the conversation ought be restricted. It is therefore in the interest of clear, cordial and civilized discussion that I shall declare the following:

For the purposes of this discussion, “pizza” and “chicken pot” are not to be considered proper varieties of pie. Only those pies containing some manner of fruit, berry, sweet and/or tart vegetable (e.g., rhubarb), custard or pudding filling shall be deemed “true pie”.I reserve the right to include additional pies should the fancy strike me. So there.

On to the matter at hand…

OMG Pumpkin Pie is teh BEST PIE EVAR!!!1!~

Thank you.

5 thoughts on “Foodstuff: On the Matter of Pie”

  1. For whatever reason, pumpkin doesn’t do it for me. I’m glad other people enjoy it, though. In fact, pies as a general rule do not typically please me. I like the inside part but I do not like most crusts, which I find dry and bland. The best crust I ever had was the Hostess snack pies, primarily because it was COATED IN SUGAR! That’s a crust, ha ha.

    That said, I truly enjoy a really good apple pie, fresh from the oven, nice and warm, with some ice cream on the side.

    On the cakish front, I enjoy a good Boston Cream Pie every now and then but I find that really good Boston Cream Pies are hard to come by.

    Tell me, Mr. J., do you eat your pumpkin pie with whipped cream? I know it’s de rigeur but maybe you do and maybe you do not. I hope you, Mrs. J. and your little one will have a Happy Thanksgiving.

  2. I would have to agree with your assessment that “OMG Pumpkin Pie is teh BEST PIE EVAR!!!1!~” Of course, sometimes I feel that “OMG Apple Tart Pie is teh BEST PIE EVAR!!!1!~” All the rest of the pies are lesser, but still wonderful creations.

  3. I like the inside part but I do not like most crusts, which I find dry and bland. The best crust I ever had was the Hostess snack pies, primarily because it was COATED IN SUGAR! That’s a crust, ha ha.

    Rob, this part of your comment can go a long way in explaining your lack of pie-enthusiasm…

    I was privileged to be raised in a family where good pie crusts were a given. Most times, I rely on the crusts of pie to balance the sweetness of the fillings. Without this fundamental element, pies can be easily misunderstood.

    My preferences for pies (among those species filtered by KJ’s original post – the non-savories) is as follows:

    – Apple (almost too sweet for me, but that can be combated by the introduction of the aforementioned rhubarb for thickening and body)

    – Pumpkin (the spices and the sweet-but-not-over-the-top fruit yield an astonishing synthesis)

    – Blueberry (which actually gels like a pudding or compote; tart enuf to offset the sweet without crust!)

    – Chocolate (matriarch of my Father’s side of the family, MamaK, makes a homemade meringue for this one. Woof!)

    – That Pie My Lovely Wife Makes (a dreadfully simple graham-cracker crust pie made out of vanilla pudding mix and several other non-fruity ingredients. Occasionally, an Oreo crust dresses this subtly-flavored confection, and they never last long.)

    Pies that I cannot abide:
    – Lemon (too tart *and* too sweet)
    – Cherry (most people use the canned filling, and it’s dreadfully sweet)
    – Pecan (texturally disastrous, pecans shouldn’t be on a menu for Gerall)

    Interesting post, Herr Johnson! Lovely feedback, folks – Thanks for a great distraction before the Thanksgiving Lunch here at work…

    -pax-

  4. I was privileged to be raised in a family where good pie crusts were a given. Most times, I rely on the crusts of pie to balance the sweetness of the fillings. Without this fundamental element, pies can be easily misunderstood.

    Crust is, indeed, fundamental. Like Gerall, I was brought up in an environment where tender, flaky crusts were the rule and dry crusts the exception.

    The trick to understanding Rob’s rather peculiar tastes is recognizing that he has an unusual palate. One might be tempted to say “inhuman”, even.

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