You offer pasty, I offer hot pocket. Not that that would give me the win.

And now I’m hearing Jim Gaffigan in my head (”Hot Pockets!”).

What about Mince Pie. It has meat, but it also has fruits in it. And Shepard’s Pie? It’s more in the line of Chicken Pot Pie, but its not as much of a bastard as the Chicken variety.

I’ll give you mince pie, though modern varieties really don’t have meat in them anymore (so sayeth Wikipedia, so mote it be). Nonetheless, out of deference to tradition, “meat pies” shall be added to the list of classifications, but only those meat pies that qualify as dessert pies.

The shepherd’s pie, on the other hand, falls well out of the “dessert pie” realm. Were we to engage in a dialog about shepherd’s pie, it would inevitably degenerate into a comparison with the pasty, and no good can possibly come of that. Best to let sleeping dogs lie.

A personal favorite of mine is Peanut Butter Banana, with an Oreo crust.

Oh, the fusion of nut and fruit and pie!

Ah, the crazy New Wave pies, created by aging hippies as the last remnants of mind-altering pharmaceuticals work their twisted, psychotropic magic.

You’ve got your cookie in my pie.

You’ve got your pie in my cookie.

You’ve got a blood-red eyeball on the back of your head, man.

Oh, the fusion of nut and fruit and pie!