As for an open source coffee shop in Cleveland, if it was on the east side, you’d probably get Chris’ and my business.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esl2NNOtHQE

If you’re prepared to take on the Ronny Cox role, I’ll take on, well, you know . . .

Fun Little Fact: in the closeup scenes of the boy playing, he couldn’t finger worth a lick and he couldn’t even fake it so they had him sit so that somebody else could stick his hand up the neck of the banjo and play the fingering part so that it looked right. That’s some other guy’s hand playing the banjo!

Fun Little Fact II: At the end, the boy was supposed to turn his head away from Ronny Cox when Ronny approached him. However, the boy they hired liked Ronny too much and wouldn’t cooperate. The boy did NOT like Ned Beatty so they told Ned to walk into the scene and you’ll see the boy turn his head immediately when Ned approaches.

You don’t have to learn to play the banjo for “Dueling Banjos.” Although it can be played with two banjos, for some stupid reason unknown to everybody, it is most commonly played with a guitar and a banjo (like the scene in “Deliverance”). Perhaps “Dueling Guitar and Banjo” didn’t have the same catchy feel for a title, I don’t know.

That said, my goal with the banjo is simple: by the time my boy graduates high school, I will be able to play Dueling Banjos as fast as it is played on the record, without missing a note. You see that I have about 16 more years of practice to get it right, I like to build myself some leeway into these sort of things. I do have the music and play it from time to time but I definitely have my work cut out for me.

If I can find the gee-tar accomp’nent (why, I wrote that like it was dialogue for O Brother Where Art Thou, din’t I?), I’ll email it to you. All things considered, the guitar is probably easier to learn than the banjo.

Perhaps I shall start my search for the perfect hayseed to stick in my mouth when we start playing. I never seem to have a hayseed handy when I need one.

1. Write about not writing.
2. ???
3. Profit!

As to the banjo business, you’ve inadvertently stumbled upon my secret plan. I was informed recently that you are evidently a “banjo prodigy” (or something of that nature) and so I decided that I, too, will learn to play the banjo. Then one day out of the blue I will stand in the street outside your house, loudly strum the opening challenge of “Dueling Banjos” and we will, as they say, have at it.

Well, to make it as simple as possible, you can either (1) accept that this is the way you are and no longer even express any concern about it, or (2) finish more things. Should you choose the second option, the only way it will ever happen is if you stop writing about writing. Nobody ever got anywhere writing about writing. It’s a classic avoidance technique.

I like to think of you as a great big raccoon. You’re busy working on something and then “hey look, something shiny, must go check that out and then blog about the shininess!” Yep, that’s you, a giant loveable raccoon.

If you finish anything, it should be learning to play the guitar. I could use some backup on my old-timey banjo music. We’d make quite a pair around the next campfire. (By the way, I can make it easier for you: almost all banjo music uses the G, C, and D chords. Work on those first, ha ha.)