SciFi Schlockfest is Coming

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The Saturday SciFi movies are really starting to pile up on my DVR, and I’ve been looking for an opportunity to sit down for a little schlock-fest. That opportunity has arisen: Laura and Kyle have gone to Florida for a week with my mother-in-law, sister-in-law and her family. I had originally planned to go, too, but the timing isn’t ideal from a work perspective, so I opted to stay home. This leaves me in a very quiet house with two cats, an Xbox, a PC with yet another dying hard drive, and a DVR chock full of movies from “The Most Dangerous Night of Television”.

Here’s just a sampling of the movies I’ll be enjoying over the next seven days:

  • Alien Lockdown. Two words: Martin Kove. Yeah, the dude from Hard Time on Planet Earth. 1And also a little film called The Karate Kid. Yeah, I’m the only one who remembers that show. So what? Oh, and it was directed by Tim Cox, the fellow who brought us Mammoth. 2Well, brought me Mammoth, because I know I’m the only one who watched that.
  • Anaconda 3: The Offspring starring David Hasselhoff and John Rhys-Davies. That’s right, snakes hasslin’ the Hoff.
  • Aztec Rex. Dinosaurs and conquistadors in Mesoamerica!
  • BloodMonkey. Yes! Pan Sanguia! I really have no idea what this is about, but the title is made of awesome.
  • Beyond/Beneath Loch Ness. The DVR says “Beneath”, but says “Beyond“. Which will it be?
  • Ghouls. Something about teenagers, probably getting eaten. By ghouls, I guess.
  • Living Hell. “The military created it. An accident set it free. Now one man must lead us to survival or extinction.” I hope that one man is Vincent Ventresca. It’s not? Crap, we’re screwed.
  • Odysseus: Voyage to the Underworld starring Arnold Vosloo, because they got Jet Li for the second Mummy sequel.
  • Rise: Blood Hunter. Lucy Liu! Michael Chiklis! Robert Forster! Why is this the first time I’m hearing of this movie?

That’s just a sampling. I know there are a couple more, but I can’t think of them off the top of my head.

1 And also a little film called The Karate Kid.
2 Well, brought me Mammoth, because I know I’m the only one who watched that.

8 thoughts on “SciFi Schlockfest is Coming”

  1. What about Man-Thing?? Andy and I missed it because we got too distracted by making man thing jokes instead of actually watching it. Interestingly enough, the Man-Thing jokes haven’t gotten old yet.

    1. @minitotoro – Let me put it this way: whatever knows good science-fiction from bad burns at the touch of the Man-Thing.

      On another note, I’ve also heard that whatever does not know about preventing the spread of STDs burns at the touch of his man-thing.

  2. Aztec Tex would possibly be the worst sci-fi movie ever made, if it weren’t for all the other Sci-Fi ‘originals’.

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