Welcome to Parenthood: Ice Cream Dreams

Visions of mint chocolate chip dance in his head...
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My morning began with a three-year-old boy addressing me from the side of my bed.

“Daddy,” he said. “I had a dream.”

This is pretty standard stuff these days: Kyle marches into our bedroom in the morning to tell us about his dreams of the previous night.

“You were there,” Kyle said, “and mommy was there.”

Nothing at all unusual about that; most of his dreams feature Laura and I.

“And I had ice cream,” he said.

Ah, there’s the wish-fulfillment aspect. Kyle had been denied ice cream twice yesterday: once because he had just eaten a popsicle and a second time because he wouldn’t eat his dinner.

“And Uncle Miller took my ice cream away.”

That’s harsh, Miller. Harsh.

5 thoughts on “Welcome to Parenthood: Ice Cream Dreams”

  1. I feel I must protest.

    The child fears me. I do not know why. I suspect it has something to do with you, Johnson, wearing a mask with my face on it and poking him with sticks, locking him outside at night, and taking his ice cream away.

    It’s a vast conspiracy, so that one day I’ll come over and Kyle will leap on me and rip my throat out.

    Clearly, I need to do that adamantium claw-thing with my son, Logan.

    Oh, pediatric arms races are an ugly business.

    1. @Uncle Miller — I feel I must counter-protest.

      I have never, not once, poked my child with a stick, locked him outside at night, or taken his ice cream away while wearing a mask with your face on it; any and all abuses I heap upon my young apprentice are perpetrated while wearing my own visage.

      That said, I cannot be held responsible for what the boy’s other parent does while I am away at work…

  2. Speaking on behalf of “the boy’s other parent,” I must submit that there has never been any attempt whatsoever to cast aspersions on the unimpeachable character of Mr. Miller. (At least with regard to the security of one’s frozen desserts.)

    The young apprentice’s dreams thus far have included a very limited “cast” of people, all of whom are among his tight circle of favorite and trusted relatives/friends. The very fact that Mr. Miller has even made a cameo appearance ought to be taken as a compliment, I should think.

    Kyle Johnson fears large dogs and any food on his plate that is not PB&J, grilled cheese, or sugar laden. I am not convinced he fears “Uncle Miller.” I mean, he has dubbed him somewhat affectionately “Uncle,” despite the fact that we encourage him to use the title “Mr.”

    I’m just saying.

  3. LOL! Too cute! Although, I am not sure that having a popsicle should have prevented Kyle from having ice cream. After all, a popsicle is mostly water and ice cream is well……ice cream!

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