Every once in a while a song winds its way into my brain, a song that I’ve heard dozens of times over the years, a song that I think I know the lyrics to—and then I make the mistake of looking up the lyrics on these here Intertubes and I find that I was not just wrong, but profoundly, incredibly wrong.
That’s just what happened to me yesterday: I found myself humming a tune and I realized that the lyrics I’ve been singing to myself, lo, these many years, are patently ridiculous. A quick lyric search confirmed my fears, as I found I had been singing this song wrong for better than twenty years. ((That’s a hint; this isn’t a Mylie Cyrus song.))
Such a long-running blunder deserves to be corrected in style, so I thought I’d make a game of it; a contest, if you will. My profoundly, incredibly incorrect version of the lyric is below. If you e-mail me the song title, the artist and the correct lyric by 11:59pm EST on Friday, 28 August 2009, your name will be entered into a random drawing to win A Fabulous Prize. ((Prize may not actually be fabulous, depending on your point of view.))
Here’s the profoundly, incredibly incorrect lyric:
“He played rubbery with his lips…”
That’s it. That’s all you get.
[Update: 24 August 2009]
Believe it or not, the profoundly, incredibly incorrect lyric above isn’t alone. When I was but a lad, I heard another line of the song as:
“You must have had a pasty made out of wax.” ((That’s “pasty”, as in Cornish meat pie. Not, you know…the other thing. Hey, the pasty was a staple of my diet growing up. Burlesque and strip clubs, not so much.))
Now I knew that couldn’t be correct, so I looked it up in the album’s liner notes and found the correct lyrics, ((Boy, do I miss liner notes.)) but somehow I managed to overlook the whole “rubbery with his lips” business at that time.
[Update: 26 August 2009]
Some people have told me that they are hesistant to enter the contest because they found the answer after searching on The Googles. There’s no rule prohibiting the use of search engines, and even if there were I’d have no way to enforce it. So, by all means, Google away! The first lyric is so profoundly, incredibly incorrect that I would be shocked (shocked, I tell you) to learn that someone had managed to wrangle the answer out of a Google search. The second lyric, on the other hand…
Oh, and check back tomorrow, when the Fabulous Prize will be revealed.
[Update: 27 August 2009]
Is the Fabulous Prize truly Fabulous? That depends on whether you’d like a copy of Batman: Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader? by Neil Gaiman and Andy Kubert (Deluxe Edition). I know I would, but I’ve only got the one copy and it’s still in the original shrink wrap.
Here’s the skinny on how you could win yourself one (1) prize of potential fabulosity…
Rules and Instructions
- The contest is open to U.S. residents only. Sorry, rest of the world, but I’ve gotta pay for shipping and I’m just a poor boy. ((Nobody loves me. This isn’t a hint, by the way.))
- Contest entries must be received by 11:59pm EST, Friday, 28 August 2009.
- Only e-mail entries will be accepted, and you must use a valid e-mail address. I promise I will not spam you or sell your address; I need it only to inform the winner and get his or her snail mail address.
- One entry per person per day.
- You must be at least 18 years of age to enter. If you’re under 18, have a parent or guardian enter on your behalf. If you really want to jump through that particular hoop, keep in mind that the song is older than you are.
- The subject of your e-mail must be “Incorrect Lyric Contest“.
- The entry must include the following:
- The name of the song.
- The name of the artist.
- The correct lyric.
- Your name (or pseudonym), which I will use when I announce the winner. Pseudonyms I deem offensive will be disqualified.
- Entries must be sent to firstname.lastname@example.org.
- The winner will be chosen at random from all qualifying, correct entries. Lacking a correct entry, I will select a random winner from those entries I judge most correct. ((Or “least incorrect”.))
- The winner will be contacted on or prior to Monday, 31 August 2009.
- The winner will be announced on or after Monday, 31 August 2009.
The Fabulous Prize
I have not yet acquired The Fabulous Prize, so I can’t tell you exactly what it’s going to be, but I can tell you this:
- The Fabulous Prize will be new. I’m not going to try to pawn off any of my used crap as a prize. ((Hooray for new crap!))
- The monetary value of The Fabulous Prize will be somewhere between 10 and 15 dollars. Fabulous American dollars, naturally.
- If you want to get an idea of what might qualify as a prize, take a peek around this blog; you’ll get a pretty good idea of the sort of stuff I would consider Fabulous Prize material: music, movies, books, that sort of thing.
- I am not going to feel bad if you win the contest and do not like The Fabulous Prize. If you’re afraid of accidentally winning something you already own or won’t like, your best option is to refrain from entering the contest.