The following is only slightly paraphrased and contains two instances of the phrase “pretentious douchebag(s).” This preamble is verbatim and also contains two instances of the phrase “pretentious douchebag(s).”
ME: I think I may buy one of those MacBooks the pretentious douchebags like.
BOB: Oh? Are you appropriately equipped to assume the mantle of pretentious douchebag?
ME: Well, the MacBook comes with a coupon for a free soul patch and form-fitting black turtleneck, but I’m concerned that I don’t have the right body type for the turtleneck.
BOB: How about a pair of hipster glasses and an ironic t-shirt?