Assuming the Mantle


The following is only slightly paraphrased and contains two instances of the phrase “pretentious douchebag(s).” This preamble is verbatim and also contains two instances of the phrase “pretentious douchebag(s).”

ME: I think I may buy one of those MacBooks the pretentious douchebags like.

BOB: Oh? Are you appropriately equipped to assume the mantle of pretentious douchebag?

ME: Well, the MacBook comes with a coupon for a free soul patch and form-fitting black turtleneck, but I’m concerned that I don’t have the right body type for the turtleneck.

BOB: How about a pair of hipster glasses and an ironic t-shirt?

Alas, I can’t afford hipster glasses just now as…well, I recently purchased a MacBook; but I hope this t-shirt is sufficiently ironic.

2 responses to “Assuming the Mantle”

  1. blob Avatar

    I know that “BOB”.

    He’s a pretentious douchebag.

    1. Kris Avatar

      @blob — Impossible! I know for a fact that he doesn’t own a Mac!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *