July 2012

  • The Taken Trailers

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    I enjoyed Liam Neeson kicking hectares of ass in Taken and I’m sure the sequel will ramp the action up even higher, but let’s be honest: even the trailer feels a bit like a rerun.

    Here’s a snippet of dialog from the trailer for Taken (2008):
    Bryan Mills (Liam Neeson) on a cell phone to his daughter, Kim (Maggie Grace): “Now, the next part is very important: they are going to take you.”

    And here’s a bit from the trailer for Taken 2 (2012):
    Bryan Mills on a cell phone to his daughter: “Listen to me carefully, Kim: your mother is gonna be taken.”

    I think I see where this is going.

    Taken 3 (2016)
    Bryan Mills on a cell phone to his daughter: “Kim, this is important: they’re going to take the dog…to a puppy farm upstate.”

    Taken 4 (2020)
    Bryan Mills on a cell phone to his daughter: “Listen, Kim: they’re going to take your order; make sure to get me a Diet Coke, and your mom wants onion rings instead of fries.”

    Taken 5 (2025)
    Bryan Mills on a cell phone to his daughter: “Julie…I mean, Kim…take the f$&%ing elephant!”