I don’t have any particular aversion to needles, but I don’t feel any desire whatsoever to submit myself willingly to the tender mercies of what passes for a brush in the hands of a tattoo artist. I have my reasons, at least one of which is that I don’t trust my body to leave a tattoo where the artist puts it. The last thing I want is a faded sketch of a crippled stork on my hip that began its sad life as an awesome dragon on my shoulder.

In “Orifice“, author John F.D. Taff posits (through his narrator’s girlfriend) that any time you poke a hole in something, there are things that will want to get in or out through that hole. And what are tattoos if not hundreds—perhaps thousands—of tiny holes?

A word of caution: This story contains adult language, adult situations, and holes where they ought not be.

Episode 135 of Pseudopod features “The Duel“, by Michael James McFarland, a tale of fraternity, brotherhood, time-honored tradition, upper-class twits and firearms. I think we’ve probably all had a friend who was mad at us, seemingly for no reason at all. Be glad they didn’t take the Burr/Hamilton tack when resolving whatever wrong we may have inadvertently done them.

Episode 109 of Pseudopod features the story “In the Coils of the Serpent” by Scottish author William Meikle. I make a point of noting the author’s country of origin because there is not only an ocean between that country and the one in which I was born, but also at least one accent. If you’ve ever heard me “do” a Scottish accent, you’ll understand why I narrated this story without one.

“In the Coils of the Serpent” is a detective story of sorts. A murder mystery that takes an unusual turn on the twisted path to the truth and winds up somewhere ancient and evil.

A word of caution: if you’re the sort who’s bothered by words like “clitoris”, I’ve probably just offended you. Also, you may not wish to listen to this particular story; at least not the first sentence.

In the dead of night, while all the world slumbered and creatures of unspeakable horror stirred beneath billions of beds, the latest episode of Pseudopod, The Sound of Horror, emerged from its glistening cocoon. Go, now, and listen to Among the Moabites by Michael Hartford, a tale of unexpected visitors and a little voyeurism. (Caution: Pseudopod is intended for mature audiences.)

Right after the Great Christmas Vacation of 2007, I narrated another story for the horror podcast, Pseudopod. The story, which appeared on the site this morning as Episode 73 of the podcast, is Blood, Gridlock and PEZ by Kevin Anderson. Of the three stories I’ve read for Pseudopod thus far I think this one may be my favorite, though I did like Tara Kolden‘s The Heart of Tu’a Halaita quite a lot.

The latest episode of the horror podcast Pseudopod was released about an hour ago as I write this. The story this episode is “The Heart of Tu’a Halaita“, written by Tara Kolden and narrated by yours truly. It’s the story of a missionary who learns a hard lesson about the dangers of letting pride dictate his actions. I’m all about learning lessons the hard way, but not when the natives are restless…and their god is hungry.

A couple of weeks ago I was tapped to read a story for Pseudopod, the short-form horror podcast. The story I read was posted on the site this morning. “Hell’s Daycare“, by D. Richard Pearce is a cautionary tale about the dangers of fraternizing with demons in the digital age. Caution: “Hell’s Daycare” is for mature audiences only, as are all stories featured on Pseudopod.

As long as you’re heading over to Pseudopod, I encourage you to check out “Bliss“, by James Michael White (read by Mur Lafferty). Laura and I listened to this one on a recent trip to Stow and we both found it incredibly disturbing, which I consider to be high praise for a horror story.