KJToo

In order to allow for the aforementioned spiral into chaos, I have decided that a schedule change is necessary. Please make the appropriate updates to your calendar.

Original Schedule:

Revised Schedule:

1. Actual activities may vary, depending upon level of madness reached. Possible activities include playing City of Heroes, mopping the dining room floor, conversing with cats, conversing with microwave, and curling up in the fetal position on the bed. [back]
2. Actual activites may vary, depending upon level of madness reached. Possible activities include playing City of Heroes, mopping blood off the dining room floor, building a rocket with microwave parts, building a rocket with cat parts, and setting fire to the bed. [back]

I forgot my lunch in the fridge this morning. Thus has begun the maddening spiral into utter chaos. By Friday I fully expect to warming the house with a styrofoam bonfire in the middle of the living room floor and playing baseball with whole raw chickens.

Today’s schedule:

So far, so good. I’m definitely at work. I do have something of a dilemma, though, and it pertains to lunch.

[Proceed only if you're seriously bored. What follows certainly won't excite, but perhaps its sheer, plodding mundanity will prompt you to get off your ass and do something - anything - else for a while.]

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My schedule for today was supposed to look like this:

Instead, I got up at 6:00a.m., packed Laura’s stuff in the MVoD, told her to drive carefully, and went back to bed started doing housework.

I know, I know. Not on the schedule. Way not on the schedule! Instead of my head hitting the pillow like Balboa’s fist against a side of beef, I vacuumed! I changed the sheets and made the bed! I cleaned up the dining room table! I filled the ice trays, straightened up the entertainment closet, brought dirty clothes down to the laundry room, fed the cats, took a shower, shaved, and emptied the trash cans!

What the hell is wrong with me?

It’s twenty after one. I should be rolling out of a puddle of my own drool right now, not running downstairs to empty the dishwasher!

Y’know what makes it worse? Laura didn’t leave me a “Honey Do” List. That’s right, I have absolutely no obligations outside of keeping myself and the cats alive until Sunday afternoon. Not a damn one.

I vacuumed this morning!

I make myself sick.

As in, “Oh, frak!”

Or maybe, “You have got to be frakking kidding me!”

Or perhaps simply, “Frak!”

The MVoD is trying very hard to earn its title today. The doom in question applies to my wallet. As Laura is taking the family-friendly minivan to Florida this Sunday (and leaving me with her Sunbird), I thought it best to make sure the vehicle was in tip-top shape for the trip. So we brought it to the dealer for its 45,000 mile schedule maintenance and asked that they also address two other areas of concern:

1. The ABS indicator occasionally comes on after I back up and won’t go off unless the vehicle is rebooted restarted. This has happened perhaps three times in the last month.
2. The left rear turn signal assembly filled with water back in December. The water froze, some of the bulbs burned out and at least one of the sockets corroded.

Oh, and the brakes hadn’t been checked since we got the van.

The guy gave me a quote which was mildly painful but not unexpectedly exorbitant. Laura drove me to work, we had a nice breakfast in the cafeteria and took care of some charitable donation matching business. She left to babysit, I went to my 9:00 meeting.

The guy left me voicemail while I was in my 10:00 meeting.

I called the guy back. He gave me the laundry list:

1. The ABS light is coming on because the speed sensor has been compromised. Replacing the speed sensor involves replacing the wheel bearing. Cha-ching!
2. The front rotors and pads need to be replaced. Not unexpected, but still… cha-ching!
3. The left rear taillight assembly circuit board must be replaced and both taillight assemblies sealed to prevent further leakage. Cha-ching!
4. There’s coolant on the engine and the transmission. The intake manifold gasket is leaking and must be replaced. Oh, that one came outta left field! Cha-ching!

E_r = E_o * 5.62

Where E_o is the original estimate and E_r is the revised estimate and 5.62 is a hell of a lot to multiply the original estimate by.

Frak!

Kidney-punch to the wallet!

Now, I’ve got to step up and take some responsibility for this mess. See, I’ve been letting the regularly scheduled maintenance slip and just going for oil changes at Lube Stop. No rotation of tires. No checking of brakes. No nothing. I’ve got to believe that the cost of these repairs could – at the very least – have been spread out over the last couple of years, if not largely avoided with some preventative maintenance.

Frak me. Right in the face.