KJToo

Chris Miller calls it “The Great Information Detox”, but I’m going to go with “Internet Detox” this year. No Twitter or Tumblr, no Facebook or Flickr, no blogging or reading RSS feeds—not until 2010.

Before I go, I want to thank everyone who participated in How Not to Grow a Beard Month this year. More importantly, thank you for spreading the word far and wide about Beards4Boobs, and for bringing in donations to fund breast cancer research. Last week, I was wondering whether we’d hit $2,000; yesterday morning I thought we might not hit our goal of $2,500; I went to bed last night happy that we’d managed to exceed the goal by nearly $200; this morning, I woke up to a final total of $3,663.23! My flabber is officially gasted. So a huge “Thank You” to everyone who participated, putting their scruffy cheeks and chin on display all through the month of November, and another huge “Thank You” to everyone who sponsored a beard. You are all awesome, generous people who clearly have much love for boobs in your hearts.

That’s it from me until January. I hope your holidays are happy.

Posted December 1, 2009 Comments(1)

As we approach the middle of november, the beards on display at HoNoToGroABeMo.org are…well, I don’t think words can really do them justice, so here are a few of my favorite photo submissions from the first half of the month. Many, if not all, of the photos below can be clicked for embiggening.

Day One: Bob kicks things off with his Creepy Stare theme, which has continued through the first two weeks.

Day Four: Is this really the face of democracy?

Day Six: Chris has already gone over to The Dark Side of The Beard.

Day Eight: I am convinced that David has only two facial expressions. This is the other one.

Day Ten: Nev shows off his pearly whites. In the United Kingdom, “jammyknashers” is common slang for “teeth”.1 English is a beautiful language.

Day Eleven: Wesley survived this vicious gargoyle attack, but just barely.

Day Twelve: Emo Jeff is emo.

Day Twelve: Gus is more beard now than man; twisted and evil.

Finally, we have an honorable2 mention from Day Seven, featuring far, far too much Jeff.

1. No. Not really. [back]
2. “Honourable” for you, Nev. [back]

Posted November 14, 2008 Comments(2)

Oops! I went to bed early last night and completely neglected to post anything here, which means that—two days into the month—I failed National Blog Posting Month! Boom! Done!

I suppose I could back-date a blog entry (WordPress certainly has the capability), but that would be cheating, so I’ll just bow out with what little grace and dignity I can muster.

On the bright side, not feeling compelled to post something here every day will give me more time to blather over on the How Not To Grow A Beard Month site, something I’m sure everyone is looking forward to.

As of this writing, there are a total of seven official participants in HoNoToGroABeMo, six of whom have actually posted on the site. An eighth individual has expressed interest, but I don’t know if his ID has been created yet. These are the men whose chins will transform from barren to lush in the coming weeks:

1. Me. Yeah. Still.
2. Bob. The Cynical Optimist.
3. Wesley. The Cyclical Apologist.
4. Chris. The Optimal Synergist.
5. Jeff. The Subliminal Optometrist.
6. Nev. The Longitudinal Psychologist.
7. Gus. The Duodenal Cosmologist. 

It’s not too late for you and your facial hair to get in on the action! As official arbiter of the event, I will allow late entries, especially to braggarts who claim that they can grow a full beard in a week or less. It’s time to put that boasting to the test, gentlemen! Drop me a line and I’ll see that you get an account on the site!

Posted November 3, 2008 Comments(6)

November is upon us and the month of blogging and beard-growing has begun! Over at the HoNoToGroABeMo site the first handful of photos and blog entries are already up; the amount of freshly-shorn cheek and chin on display is…mildly disturbing, to be honest. The question of whether the faces of the participants can survive the chill of November has led me to wonder whether the event ought not be moved to late spring or perhaps even early summer, but the die has been cast and the liability waivers signed, so the rest is left to chance, Mother Nature, and the responsible utilization of scarves.

Here’s a quick rundown on the roster so far:

• Me. Originator of the event and first to shave.
• Bob. The cynical optimist and creator of the HoNoToGroABeMo website.
• Chris. My co-overlord at The Secret Lair, whose face has not seen the light of day since before the Clinton administration.
• Wesley. Mastermind responsible for such podcasts as Volcanicast, Stargate Cafe and The Log of the Crimson Lein.

There are rumors of additional participants to come, but I don’t want to put anyone on the spot until they have officially cast their lot in on the site. If you, too, would like to get in on the hot, beard-growing action, leave a comment and I’ll see that you get an account on the official site. We’ll have an invitation system in place shortly (I hope), but as with any newfangled web wonder, there are a few kinks to work out before everything is running smoothly.

Posted November 1, 2008 Comments(1)

‘Round about the last week of October, there’s usually a flurry of activity here as I announce what sort of insane challenges I’ll be embarking on in November. National Novel Writing Month (or NaNoWriMo) has topped the list for the last several years, followed by National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo) and finally, a challenge of my own making: HoNoToGroABeMo, which is what we call How Not To Grow A Beard Month in these parts.

My attempts at writing a 50,000 word novel in 30 days have been largely unsuccessful. Even when I managed the word count in 2005, I abandoned the story without a resolution; my protagonist fleeing across the desert and the man in black following.1 This year, I’ve decided to leave the writing to those with more determination (and story ideas) than I.

Blogging every day for a month was, all things considered, a walk in the park, especially when I combined it with daily photographic evidence of my inability to grow a proper beard. I was already planning to do NaBloPoMo again this year, but when my friend Bob unveiled the HoNoToGroABeMo website it was like combining two great tastes that taste great together.2 Now my genetic disinclination toward facial hair and my proclivity for aimless babble form up, becoming the Voltron of pointless, month-long pursuits!3

The website, if all goes well, should be operational by the end of the week, at which point anyone who wishes to join us on our mad crusade can create an account. I’m told the features will include not only a blog, but a place to post photographs of what passes for progress throughout the month. I suspect that my own attempt (futile though it is destined to be) will be chronicled both here and there, perhaps through the utilization of some manner of imported cross-posting technology.

1. No. Not really. [back]
2. Chocolate and cheese. [back]
3. Form blazing beard! [back]

Posted October 30, 2008 Comments(6)