• Tumblr: Even More Random Than This


    I use my Tumblr blog (or Tumblog, I guess) as a repository for random brain-farts and a dumping ground for the occasional photograph I take in my travels; it also contains some snippets of conversation that I find amusing. In other words, it’s an “everything else” blog.

    I suppose you could argue that I could just post all that stuff here, and I’d be hard pressed to come up with a convincing argument to the contrary. Suffice it to say that I enjoy a certain compartmentalization of my inanity.

  • Weekend Wrap-up: Labor Day


    I’ve got a few things in the pipeline just waiting for me to finish them up, including reviews of Ultraviolet, the season finale of Who Wants to Be a Superhero?, Philip K. Dick’s novel Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, the second season of The Venture Brothers on Adult Swim, and a long-overdue review of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest. Last but not least, if you listened to the latest episode of The Round Table you know that I gave myself a homework assignment to determine whether or not Snakes on a Plane follows The Hero’s Journey.

    This may simply be a case of too many irons in the fire, but I just haven’t been able to focus on finishing anything over the past couple of weeks. I obviously have strong opinions about the movies and television shows I’m watching, not to mention the books I’m reading (currently Orwell’s 1984), but sitting down and writing about them has been difficult recently and I’m not sure why.

    This weekend, I didn’t even attempt to write anything for the site. Instead, Laura and I spent three days watching the first season of 24. A co-worker loaned me the DVDs and I figured the only way I was going to be able to watch the series was if Laura watched it with me. After we watched the first two episodes on Saturday afternoon, she was hooked; we watched eight episodes on Saturday, eight more on Sunday, and finished up the series last night. That may seem a little extreme, but each episode is roughly 40 minutes without commercials, so it works out to just over five hours of 24 each day, leaving nearly nineteen hours a day for sleep and…

    • Dragon Sword, a wonderful study in anachronism (think Legolas’ rail-grinding in The Two Towers) and misplaced accents (think Kevin Costner in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves) starring James Purefoy, Piper Perabo, Patrick Swayze, Michael Clarke Duncan, and Val Kilmer (sort of).
    • Ultimate Spider-Man for the Xbox.
    • LEGO Star Wars II: The Original Trilogy, also for the Xbox.
    • Ice cream at the Kurlee Kone in Fairport Harbor.
    • The Chili Meltdown Grillburger from Dairy Queen. Instant food review: the chili is too sweet.
    • The care and feeding of my young apprentice, who now has four teeth (two up top and two beneath) and a growing appetite.
  • Non Sequitur: Going Vertical


    I work on the third floor, but — thanks to science’s failure to deliver flying automobiles back in the year 2000 — the MVoD is parked at ground level. Also at or near ground level are the dispensers of beverages, microwaveable foodstuffs and conveniently packaged snacks, 1I originally typed “conveniently packaged snakes,” which would certainly make the vending machines more interesting. not to mention a host of offices and conference rooms. Thus, there are a number of reasons for me to move between the first and third floors of the building throughout the day.

    There are two elevators in the building, the use of which reduces the number of vertical steps between the third and first floors (and vice versa) from forty-four to zero, likewise reducing the amount of physical exertion necessary to travel between those floors. For this reason alone, I should avoid the elevators at all cost. My job and most of my leisurely pursuits require very little physical activity, so I should get exercise whenever possible, even if it’s just four flights of stairs.

    Laziness often wins out over common sense, and I find myself riding the elevator instead of taking the stairs, especially if someone else has already summoned the vertical conveyance to my current floor. Shaky rationale often reinforces laziness in this case, for surely I am saving valuable corporate dollars by decreasing the cost-per-passenger when I join someone else in an elevator that is already bound for my destination.

    This week, building maintenance swept in to aid laziness. Painting in the stairwells has produced fumes, turning those enclosures into nausea-inducing gas chambers and making the elevator all the more attractive as a means of traveling along the z-axis. Unless, of course, the previous passengers consisted of two individuals returning from their smoke break and a third carrying his bag of recently-microwaved popcorn; the combination of the two odors is enough to turn the stomach and conjure images of Marlboro Lights drizzled with melted butter.

    Perhaps it’s an as-yet-untapped marketing niche: Buttered Popcorn cigarettes could take their place on the shelf next to the ubiquitous menthol and never-expressed-but-always-implied burning dog ass flavors. 2There goes my G-rating for today. Tempting as it may be, I’m not going to jump on that potential cash cow. I’ll let Philip Morris and R.J. Reynolds fight over it. I’m nothing if not magnanimous.

    There’s a lesson in all of this, I suppose. Something as simple as “take the stairs, you lazy bastard,” but disguised in layers of abstract symbolism and metaphor to make it seem deep and philosophical. Time for me to try my hand at proverbs, I guess.

    “Even the laziest dog knows the proper time to lift his leg.”

    Yeah, that’s it.

    1 I originally typed “conveniently packaged snakes,” which would certainly make the vending machines more interesting.
    2 There goes my G-rating for today.